What Jade Hates
by Quitting Time
Summary: Jade is sick and as a result not in the best of moods. So she makes one of her, What Jade Hate's video's. Only this one is a, special Tori Vega edition. Interesting considering Tori happens to be her girlfriend. Just what does Jade hate about her girlfriend?


**Disclaimier: The show Victorious its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

 **What Jade Hates**

 **No One's POV.**

 **Here's another one shot and a funny one I hope. Enjoy.**

The 34th annual California high school choir competition had been a rousing success. The 2 day event, which took place in Sacramento, was attended by no less than 40 different choirs from around the state. There were a number of different categories, including, best show choir, best mens chorus, best women's soloist and so on. It was the end of the final day with the various students all relaxing in their hotels rooms after the final awards ceremony and banquet. Tomorrow morning they'd be heading home.

One of the choirs competing was none other than the choir from Hollywood Arts. They had done well, coming in 3rd overall the best overall choir competition. However one of their best voices, Jade West, was unable to attend, due to illness. The rest of the gang was able to attend and enjoyed themselves.

It was just after 10 in the evening and Tori was relaxing on her bed reading. It had been a long day and she was relaxing before getting ready for bed. Drifting in from the hallway were the voices of various choir members talking, having a good time and hanging out in each other's rooms. Part of Tori wanted to partake in the final night celebrations, but she was content to simply read. That and she was also missing her girlfriend, Jade, who was unable to come, which made her just a bit sad.

Just as she was getting into her book, the door burst open. It was Cat, Beck, Andre and Robbie who was holding a laptop. They all seemed a bit excited.

"Hey, I could have been naked here. You can't just burst in." Protest Tori, who was fortunately still dressed.

"It's my room too." Said Cat who pointed to Tori's bed. Cat and Tori were sharing one bed in a two bedroom room. The other bed was for two other girls in the Hollywood art's choir. At the moment they were off partying in one of the other rooms.

"Yes Cat, I know it's your room. But it's my room too and while yes you can come in whenever you'd like, it's polite to see if I'm dressed, before you let other people in."

Cat cringed briefly. "Oh. I'm sorry, are you dressed?"

Ignoring the question, Tori turned to Robbie. "What's up?"

"I just got a notification, Jade put out a new, What Jade hates, video."

"Oh that's nice."

Andre then stepped forward. "You may want to see it, it's titled, "What Jade hates: Tori Vega edition. None of us have seen it yet."

Her look of curiosity, turning into a frown, Tori got off the bed. "It really says that?"

"Yep." Replied Beck. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, I know Jade's sick, I offered to stay and care for her., but she insisted and told me to go."

Andre and Beck, slapped themselves in the forehead, nearly in unison.

"Oh man….." Said Beck.

"Why? She said it was ok."

Andre walked over and put and arm around Tori. "Chicka, Let me tell you something about dating girls. When a girl tells you it's ok to go somewhere without them, it's never ok. Especially when they insist you go. You should have consulted us first."

Beck concurred with a solemn nod. "It was a trap."

Tori, who suddenly began to look very worried, looked to Cat. "It was a trap?"

"Of course it was. Don't you know anything about girls?"

"I am a girl!" Retorted Tori, looking rather insulted.

"Yeah, but do you know anything about dating one?" Queried Andre.

"Um…no…just Jade….." Tori's face suddenly fell. "Crap!"

Robbie placed the laptop on the table and hit play. "Might as well get it over with. This is probably going to be half an hour of Jade ripping Tori a new one."

The group sat down to see in image come on the screen. That of Jade's dark and always spooky room. A moment later a rather disheveled and unhappy looking Jade sat down in the chair. Her hair was a mess, she was wearing no makeup and was clothed in sweats. She looked tired miserable and her face was covered in chicken pox.

Jade glared at the camera for a moment and then said. "Hello. In case you haven't caught up on things, I'm not at the choir completion, as I'm sick with the chicken pox. I never had it as a child. I have it now. So since I have so much time on my hands…..ALONE!"

Beck shrugged. "Told you it was a trap."

Jade then held up a yellow sign with the words.

 _"What Jade hates: Tori Vega edition."_

"Now I know what you're thinking, Tori's my girlfriend, I shouldn't hate her. Well There's plenty to hate and that's why where here today. Now before I get to Tori, let's start with Chicken pox. I hate the chicken pox and my stupid cousin Liam who gave it to me. Chicken pox are gross and I feel like shit. But even that relates to Tori, WHO DIDN'T STAY WITH ME AND NURSE ME BACK TO HEALTH. I HATE THAT!"

"You're in trouble." Said Cat.

"Next." Said Jade after clearing her throat. "Another thing I hate about Tori, her sister Trina. She brought me chicken soup. I'm sure Tori made her do it. Normally a nice thing, but the soup was brownish green. Chicken soup, which I hate anyway, isn't supposed to be brownish green. So, either Trina's the worst cook in the world or she's trying to poison me. I dumped that slop out the window when she left. Now my dad's all chizzed off because the all the grass turned brown where the soup landed. I think it's dying. He cares more about his perfect lawn than me, but that's a different video."

Tori looked to her friends. "Trina's a really bad cook. I should have just had her bring Jade a pizza. My bad."

Jade spoke up again. "Another about Tori I hate. The fact that she snores in her sleep."

Cat nodded. "She does."

"I thought she liked sleeping with me." Said Tori.

They turned their attention to Jade once again.

"Well, at first I hated it, but now I hate the fact that we've been sleeping together so much, NOW I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT IT. I HATE THAT I CANT SLEEP!"

Tori blew a kiss at the screen. "Try and sleep baby."

Jade then smiled broadly. Normally Jade never smiled, unless it was at Tori, so this was very unsettling.

"I saw Andre's post on the slap today, how when Cat woke up, she was cuddling with Tori. It said she mistakenly thought Tori was one of her stuffies. I hear it was very cute, with Cat snuggled all up against Tori. Now I realize that they're staying in a hotel and it's an unfamiliar situation with people having to share the same bed. So do you think I wouldn't totally understand."

Cat quickly breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought Jade would be mad. I didn't mean too."

Tori slapped her on the back. "See Cat, I told you she wouldn't mind. Jade's totally understanding now. I'm rubbing off on her."

Jade continued her voice calm. "of course Cat, if just happens to occur again." Suddenly Jade's face distorted and the Goth screamed at the top of her lungs. "I'LL SPLIT YOUR SKULL, CHOP YOU INTO PIECES AND FEED YOU TO MY NIGHBORS DOG! OF COURSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND, I HATE IT, NO ONE CUDDLES WITH TORI BUT ME!"

Almost instantly Cat leapt off the bed with a shriek of sheer terror and fled the room. "Someone sleep with me tonight Please! I need someone to sleep with. Please, who wants to sleep with me!"

That was followed by the voices of several guys from the Hollywood art's choir emerging from their nearby rooms all shouting. "ME! ME! ME!"

Tori turned to Andre' with an embarrassed expression, "Ok, I was a bit wrong. Jade's just a bit grouchy today, she's always like that when she's sick."

"You're going to be sleeping alone tonight, that's for sure."

Turning her attention to the screen, Tori could see Jade had calmed down once again. "Now that I don't have to worry about anyone violating Tori's personal space, otherwise known as my personal space. Onto the next item on my list of thing Jade hates. I hate purple. It's Tori's favorite color."

As Jade went on about how much she hated purple and the various absurd reasons why, Andre nudged Beck.

"Isn't she wearing purple sweatpants right now."

Tori who seemed oblivious to Jade's anti purple rants perked up. "They used to be mine until Jade stole them. She wears them all the time and won't give them back."

Robbie then pointed at the screen. "It looks like I see a bit of purple underwear peeking out from under her sweats.

Turning a bit red, Tori admitted. "Those are mine too. I left them at her place, I wonder if she bothered to wash them first."

The guys merely, shook their heads.

"Next," Jade said as she cleared her throat "is the fact that Tori came in 2nd in the women's Solo competition. I hear that Regina Bradford of Ocean View high won 1st place. You know what I hate about that? "

"Jade's face suddenly went dark, "it's that Regina Bradford of Ocean city high, beat out my beautiful Tori and won first place. The only time that would be acceptable, is if I won first place, but I didn't. So, Regina, I expect to see that first place trophy in Tori's hands when she comes back, or else….."

Tori of course simply beamed. "She's my biggest fan."

Jade brushed back a strand of hair. "Last think I hate about Tori, is that now she's not here, I don't have anyone to watch Benny Hill with. It's not fun with you not constantly reminding me how sexist he is. I see you watching during his Hill's angels sequences. HOW COME HE WAS NEVER NIGHTED BY THE QUEEN! He's the greatest British person ever and there's not one statue of him in London. You know you Brits need to do, get rid of that statue of that Nelson guy from Trafalgar square and put Benny Hill up there. But Nooooo…you still have that stupid navy hero there, what's wrong with you people. But I digress. This is about Tori. I could probably go on for another hour or two, but I'm tired. So that wraps up this special Tori Vega edition of What Jade hates."

The screen went dark for a moment then Jade came back on.

"Last bit. Tori, I JUST HATE THAT YOU'RE NOT HERE! Now come back and nurse me back to health! But you're still on my shit list! You weren't actually supposed to go. Don't you know anything about women! Seriously Vega, you and I need to have a long talk. NOW COME BACK!"

As the screen went blank, Tori grinned. "She misses me."

 **Benny Hill was a British actor and comedian. A lot of his humor was burlesque in nature. He had a long running TV show and died in 1992. I actually think he's rather funny.**

 **The statue in Trafalgar square is of British Naval Hero, Horatio Nelson; hero of the battle of Trafalgar in 1805. A battle in which he perished. Jade obviously thinks that a statue of Benny Hill would be better in its place.**

 **Thanks to Invader Johnny.**


End file.
